Building purpose is the foundation of change behavior.
Why?
As we have previously stated, the brain is good at overestimating what can be accomplished in the short term and underestimating what can be accomplished in the long term.
This means that:
- Uncomfortable feelings are inevitable.
- For most people, shame shows up. A lot.
- Negative self-talk is something everyone has to contend with.
- Sticking points are inevitable.
- Wrestling with expectations is normal, and even an essential part of the process.
- Periods of ambivalence are inevitable.
- It is human nature to stop doing what is working once we start to see results.
How do we contend with these things?
At the end of the day, habits are formed through our actions, not our thoughts. Motivation is an action, not a feeling. Negative thoughts will be a part of the process. There will be times when we don’t feel like it. These things can disrupt the process, leaving us falling back on “old behavior”. Being connected to a larger purpose is like the glue that holds it all together.
Many people start by focusing on what they are walking away from. Running from what you do not want to be works for a bit, but eventually people need to turn their focus to what, or where, they want to be for the change to stick.
A simple task to determining your larger purpose, or why, is to walk through the following process:
I want…
That is important to me because…
And that is important to me because…
And that is important to me because…
The goal is to connect to the larger purpose, which offers an opportunity to train the brain to visualize an outcome that has meaning and purpose that transcends all of the things listed above.